September 25, 2019

Unexpected side effects of ending chemo and radiation

It has been five days since I finished chemo and radiation. Some unexpected and not quite pleasant side effects of finishing this poison:
  • I slept 20 out of 24 hours for the first three days, and only slightly less than that in subsequent days.
  • My appetite is basically non-existent. I eat because I have to, but mostly, I'm forcing myself to eat and being mad about it. Food sucks.
  • I am thirsty like I've never had water before in my life. Yesterday I drank easily four or five liters of water or juice, and my thirst is never quenched. The Husband says my body is trying to flush out those poisons I've been ingesting for the past 6 weeks. 
  • Also, I only want things that are cold. Tons of ice in my drink, cold foods, smoothies, etc. If you know me, you know that it's weird that I want ice because I almost never want that much ice. Lately, it's been so bad that I've been eating ice. Rather, letting it melt in my mouth. 
  • I am cranky in a way that I didn't expect after finishing treatment. I thought I would be happy. I thought I would feel accomplished. I thought I would feel some kind of something good. Instead, I feel annoyed because this f*cking diagnosis is hanging over my head while I wait to find out if the treatment worked. The thing is, I still have two and a half weeks of waiting, and I don't feel good about that right now.
  • My hair is continuing to fall out on both sides of my head. Not that I'm looking for a wig to fix this mess, but those little hairs are itchy!
  • The last week of radiation was the "power-up" period, where they focused the beam (?) more tightly on one spot on my head. What that means is that I have visible burning on the skin on that side of my head, to the point that it caused blisters. The healing process is itchy, and my headskin looks weird.
  • I probably mentioned this before, but I am so tired. There is nothing that I want to do or see or eat. I basically just want to sleep forever. I know that is not necessarily the best, but for now, that's where I'm at.
And just like that, my energy is gone. Time for yet another nap?

6 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing your truth with treatment.we have enough sugar coating these days. Keep being strong and patient and fuk what anyone thinks.. LoVe u meLi

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  2. It is as real as it can get. Thank you for sharing as you don't have to. You are in my thoughts every day. In addition to our continued support, I will continue to share your Go Fund information. I wish I could be there in person. Please know our love is consistently sent to you and Steve.

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    Replies
    1. Tried to post a link to encourage and cheer but it didn't work :(

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  4. You’re doing so well for someone who says they feel cranky. 😋

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