Time to Set Some Boundaries

My dearest friends and family, it is time to set some boundaries. This is not to say that any individual one of you has crossed these boundaries; however, I want to be sure that you know where I stand with all of this.

I've mentioned before my dislike of Dr. Google. To expand on this, I want to remind you that while I know you have only the best of intentions, the only medical advice I will be taking will be from my oncology team of people with fancy letters after their names. Unless you are part of that oncology team, you are not allowed to give me medical advice. I mean it. I know that coconut oil cures this and smoking cbd oil fixes the other thing, but I'm not gonna do it unless my oncology team tells me to do it.

In addition, I want to remind you that while I have been mostly open about my journey, there have been some parts that I've not made public. I am not obligated to share every single part of this nightmare, and I get the feeling that some of my readers feel like they have the right to every single update every single day. Sometimes, I will update every day. Sometimes I will not feel like it is appropriate to update every ugly detail of my day. And sometimes, I just won't have anything new or interesting to update.

The other thing I want to remind you of is that it is not my job to comfort you or make you feel better because you feel bad, sad, or upset that I have cancer. I have enough tears to go around, and I don't want yours. Of course, I'm not saying that you aren't allowed to feel bad, sad, or upset, but take that somewhere else, ok?

Right now, The Husband and I have a lot of people offering to help, or asking what they can do to help. I do not want to seem ungrateful, but at the same time, I want to remind all of you that right now, I'm hovering in this terrible waiting period. We don't know what we want or need, because we don't know what comes next, and that is hard. Next is probably clinical trials, but even that is a best guess for now. Once we know what to ask for, trust me, we will ask. We have gone way past shame and are firmly in the realm of asking, begging, pleading, or beseeching any and everyone if there is anything we think they might be able to help with.

I am still being very careful to protect my mental health. What that means is that some (most) of these boundaries which I am setting are intended to protect me. If you want to know how to help, help me with that.

Now more than ever, I am trying so hard to be more than just the Cancer Lady. I never wanted this diagnosis to define me. I still don't. In the spirit of all of that, please be mindful of my boundaries, ok?

We are in this critical waiting period, and I don't want anyone to think that they have crossed the line with me, but at the same time, I want to be clear about where I stand, and why I am taking this approach at this point in my journey. Thank you all for your love and support this this rollercoaster I never wanted to ride.