The Problem of Food

This evening, I went into full meltdown mode.

The trigger:

Food.

This oral chemo that I'm taking is supposed to be very tolerable, but it still makes me feel like I've got gremlins running around my stomach and I feel thisclose to barfing pretty much every day.

Today, the nausea was exceptionally gross, so the only thing I wanted was something extremely cold, so I had a smoothie.

This evening, The Husband, being such a good husband, asked me if there was anything in particular that I wanted to eat for dinner, and honestly, all I wanted to do was barf.

I didn't barf, but I did lay down in the bed and cry for a little while. There is so much nausea in my life, and my favorite to do before all of this was eat interesting, spicy, fatty, delicious food.

Chicken tikka masala

Plaintains in any form

Macarons (especially strawberry, raspberry, or pistachio)

Anything guava-flavored

Chinese food

Now,  very few foods are interesting or delicious, no matter how spicy or fatty they might be. I eat because I have to eat, but I rarely enjoy eating anymore, and that is just sad. Now, food is just another reminder that I am sick, and I almost never want to think about food anymore.

My new favorite foods are Slurpees or smoothies. Things that are ice cold.

Slurpee

So, the moral of the story is that the unexpected emotional breakdown of the day would be because food sucks and I basically don't like any of it anymore. If I'm being honest (and I am!) this is just another ugly side of this stupid diagnosis. I hate this part.

Now I have to go eat so I can take my night medications.

So many meds...